literature

Who are You? Ch. 4

Deviation Actions

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Garrus exited the elevator on the Combat Information Center, his guns and a bag slung over his back. He had gone down to the main battery and gathered the lone things he had brought with him on the ship before heading up to the CIC, ready to exit the ship for what Garrus thought was for good. As he walked past Kelly she attempted to say hello, but his blatant ignorance to her presence caused her to quiet herself as he walked past. No one else even bothered to try and greet him as he walked past.

He had gotten violent with Shepard, and he didn't really know if it was the right thing to do. She had started it, but the look she had given him when he had her pushed up against the wall was confusing to him. He knew what humans looked like when they were scared (he had killed enough rotten humans on Omega during his time as Archangel), but Shepard hadn't just been scared... there was another emotion he could see, and it wasn't one Garrus had seen come from her before. Whatever it was, at the very least it meant she had been listening.

Once Garrus reached the airlock, he looked up to where Joker was sitting. "Joker, open the decompression chamber."

Joker turned around, a stupid grin on his face as he looked at the turian. "Ahh, Garrus where have you been! Did Shepard ever get a hold of you?" When Garrus didn't respond, Joker shrugged and continued on. "Well, couldn't have been that important. Anywho, you know I can't let you off unless Shepard's given me an order about you having shore leave or something else."

Garrus knew he would get stopped, but it wouldn't keep him on the ship. He quickly moved over to Joker, who looked to grow slightly uneasy by Garrus's brash behavior. Garrus towered over Joker and crossed his arms. "Call Shepard's personal comm now and get me the clearance."

Joker looked like he wanted to tell Garrus no (as was actually protocol, since the commander was supposed to call ahead to notify the helm of personal leave), so Garrus moved his hand to rest on his pistol. At that movement Joker quickly pulled up his comm line. "Whoa there, no need to get violent, I'm callin'..." Joker began to mutter something inaudible as he dialed up Shepard's comm. After a few seconds Joker began to speak.

"Hey Commander... Vakarian's up in the bridge right now and he wants clearance to leave the ship. Does he have leave of any kind?" After a long pause, a muted female's voice could be heard though no words were audible in her speech, and after a few seconds Joker looked back at Garrus.

"Shepard said you have indefinite personal leave..." Joker's eyebrow cocked as if waiting for Garrus to explain, but Garrus merely glared; his patience had worn thin. "Just open the damn chamber Joker!"

Joker, looking slightly peeved, turned in his chair and opened the chamber while asking EDI to pull up a video feed of some sort. Ignoring him, Garrus finally stepped in and waited as he went through the decontamination process. Garrus knew that argument didn't go the way it should have, but he didn't regret a thing that happened. He knew he had been right in what he did to Sidonis, and even if the option to change it was offered Garrus wouldn't accept. If Shepard couldn't accept that it was her problem. She doesn't understand the half of what I've been through, of what I've seen. Trying to be a damn diplomat. She's the one who is blind, not me.
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It had killed her to let Garrus off of the ship, but she didn't have any other choice. Keeping him on the ship would simply cause more disputes, and after the way things had escalated in her quarters, could end up hurting one of the crew members. So when Joker called her comm (presumably on Garrus's orders), Shepard simply gave to word for him to be given shore leave. Maybe it will help him clear his head... hopefully he'll just come back in a few hours and he'll be more willing to actually talk this time...

Though she shuddered at the thought, she knew she would be the only one who could talk some sense in him. She was still hurting from their fight, and when she finally took to stripping off her armor she noticed that he had torn through her body suit and even drew blood. She was honestly past being angry at him. All getting angry did was infuriate him to the point of violence, and that was a road Shepard did not want to go down with Garrus again. Now she was just hurt. It wasn't like Garrus at all to act like this, and it was scaring the hell out of her that she didn't really know how she would stop him and bring the old Garrus. Hell, she didn't even know if the old Garrus would want to come back...

About an hour or so after Garrus left Shepard went down to the crew's deck to the main battery. Part of her hoped that he would be standing there again, ready to talk about what had happened and then let Shepard help him through whatever it was he was going through. But as expected, she was only met with the dull hum of the battery as the doors slid open. What she hadn't expected to see, however, was all of Garrus's things gone from the small room. The cot, his rifle, his helmet... everything related to Garrus was completely absent from the room. Shepard moved over to a crate that still remained in the room, sitting down and resting her elbows on her knees. She closed her eyes. Does he think he's not coming back? Shepard shook her head, trying to dismiss the unattractive thought from her mind. He wouldn't just up and leave the ship... Even if he was pissed at her, he would have let someone know he was leaving for good...

Or would he have? Shepard lifted her head and opened her eyes, looking over at the station that Garrus had always seemed to stand at. He hadn't really been close to anyone on the ship except for Shepard and had mostly kept to himself and his calibrations. If he would have told anyone, it would have been Shepard. She gritted her teeth, balling up her right hand into a fist and digging her gloved fingers into her palm. She was sick of losing people in her life, sick of getting close to people to simply let them slip from between her fingers.

Shepard lost it. She shouted, her voice cracking mid-cry as she whipped her right arm to punch the wall, her left hand resting on the wall next to where the right landed. She clenched her eyes shut as she slowly moved her head forward until her forehead rest on the cool metallic wall. She viciously punched the wall again but remained silent, merely hearing the loud metallic clang as her balled hand collided with the plating. Her hand had begun to pulse with pain after the third hit, but Shepard was determined to make it go numb. She pulled her fist back for another blow but was surprised to find her arm caught by someone behind her.

"Siha," Thane's low, raspy voice spoke, "you will harm yourself if you continue to batter the wall. Tell me, what is troubling you?"
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Finally off the ship, Garrus thought he would feel relieved. However, his chest was still as heavy as it was when he had furiously packed his belongings and stormed off of the Normandy, unwilling to compromise over what he had done. He looked back at the airlock doors that led back to the Normandy and wondered if he should just go back, finish duke-ing it out with Shepard, and move on.

Don't be stupid, Garrus told himself as he adjusted his bag, shaking his head. If you had listened to her and let Sidonis go he wouldn't have been brought to justice and your ten men would have gone unavenged. Garrus decided to focus his attention elsewhere and went to the transport center, finding a cabbie who he told to take him to a place he could stay for the night.

After being dropped off in front of a rather seedy place owned by a volus who seemed to be on some sort of drugs (Garrus presumed red sand by his overly euphoric answers to simple questions like, "What are your rates?"), Garrus dropped off his things, though keeping his pistol on him, and changed into civilian clothes before deciding to go over to Chora's Den for a few drinks. He needed to calm himself down, and a few glasses of turian ale would certainly do the trick.

After the uneventful trip to the club, Garrus took a seat at the bar, leaning on it and calling for the bartender to bring him a drink. Garrus vaguely recognized the turian barkeep but didn't realize who he was until the turian was right in front of him.
"Garrus? Garrus Vakarian?"

Garrus blinked, his mandibles clicking as he squinted to see the bartender's face and markings. After a few moments, though, the turian's name finally came to his mind. "Spurus Aoin! What the hell are you doing here? "

Spurus chuckled and shrugged a little. "After that arms dealing deal fell through I decided to learn how to bartend and work down here. Keeps me busy and out of trouble... Mostly. What about you Vakarian? Last I heard you were off running around the galaxy with that Shepard character before she was killed!"

Garrus felt a pang in his chest at the mention of Shepard, but he pushed it aside. He leaned to the side and shook his head for a moment. "Yeah, I've stayed off the radar for a while... Just keeping a low profile, that's all. Why don't you get me a glass of some good ale and we can catch up. I haven't talked to you since I joined C-sec when we had just left the military."

Spurus turned to grab the bottle and pour Garrus a drink. In all honesty, Garrus was not a big fan of Spurus or his past (no, it was especially his past), but Shepard... Shepard had been the only person he really talked to on the Normandy and in galactic space, for that matter. In the hour or so he had been on the Citadel already he noticed how lonely he felt again off of the damn SR-2, and if he had been given the chance to fill that void with some turian acquaintance and some dextro-friendly liquor, then Garrus would damn well try. And if not, then he would have a few more glasses than usual and stumble to his room to pass out on the grungy bed to forget the night. No harm done.
A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter took a while to post; I've been busy and whatnot, with work and summer and blah blah blah, XD. But anyways, enjoy!

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Garrus gets off the Normandy, while Shepard is distressed.


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*suddenly hoping Garrus isn't going to run into trouble on his first night away from the ship*

Poor Shepard, though. I couldn't imagine having Garrus, of all people, walk out on her like that, especially since he's the only friend / familiar face she has on the ship (aside from Doc Chakwas and Joker, of course). The sudden sense of isolation and loneliness alone would be unbearable. Not to mention the natural curiosity of the crew, once word got around; the whole "What'd you do to make him leave like that?" and all.